Joke of da day 27/09

(((ring))) (((ring-g-g-g-g))) *** pick up ***

"Hello?""Hi honey, this is Daddy...is your Mummy near thephone?"

"No Daddy, she's upstairs in the bedroom with UncleFrank,"

After a brief pause Daddy says,"But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!"

"Oh Yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mummy, right now!"

"Uh Okay then......here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy and Uncle Frank that Daddy's car just pulled up outside the house."

"Okay Daddy!"A few minutes later the little girl comes back to thephone. Well I did what you said, Daddy."

"And what happened?" he asks.

"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went flying out the front window and now she's all dead."

"Oh my God!!!!! And what about your Uncle Frank?"

"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimmingpool..... but he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit thebottom of the swimming pool and now he's all real dead too."

*** long pause ***

Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool????Is this 555-7039?"

No! This is 555-7093" the little girl said.


"Oooooppppssss....sorry wrong number!"

Joke of da day 24/09

A young Technician and his General Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita.

They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.

After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young tech are interested in each because they are giving each other "looks."

Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of the smack of a kiss followed by the sound of the smack of a slap.

When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.

The grandmother is thinking to herself: "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him."

The General manager is setting there thinking: "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped and hit me!"

The young woman was sitting and thinking: "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!"

The young tech sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself: "Life at Boeing is good... How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his General manager all at the same time!!!

Joke of da day 14/09

What is marketing?", the following analogies will help clear it up...

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed."That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend.That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb out the sunroof of the car and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
That's Spam.

Joke of da day 13/09

A man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other...

When they had a confrontation..., screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night the man would shout: "When I die..., I will dig my way?? up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life..!"

Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 68.

His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow.

Her neighbours, concerned for her safety asked:"Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the graveand come back to haunt you for the rest of your life...?"

The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down..."

Joke of da day 12/09

A Japanese man was in a hurry to go to the KLIA airport, so he took a Proton taxi. The taxi driver took his sweet time driving within the speed limit but the Jap was getting impatient.

The following is their conversation on the way to the airport.

A Toyota Camry overtook the taxi.....zoom....

Jap: Look ...look .... Toyota!! ...very fast!!!.... Made in Japan! Proton...no good.... Made in Malaysia.

Driver: yah....

After a few minutes a Nissan overtook the taxi....zoom.

Jap: look.... Look.... Nissan!!!..... Very good!! Very fast! Made in Japan! Proton.... No good.... Made in Malaysia

Driver: yah....yah... After a few minutes a Honda overtook the taxi...zooom!

Jap: look.... Look... Honda!!.... Very GOOD!!....very fast!!....made in Japan! Proton...no good...made in Malaysia

Driver: yah...yah...yah....!

Arriving at the airport. Jap about to pay the taxi driver.

Jap: How much?

Driver: RM150/-

Jap: Oh... Very expensive..... You overcharge!!

Driver: Noooo .... Look .... Look .... Sony meter!!....very good!!....very Fast!.... Made in Japan!