Joke of da day 31/12

One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America.

A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing?"

Singh answered, "No, I am Banta Singh."

Another guy came and asked the him the same question.

Singh answered, "No, No, Me - Banta Singh!"

Third one came and asked him the same question again.

Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.

While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun.

He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?"

The other Singh was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing."

The Singh slapped him on his face and said, "You stupid idiot! Everyone is looking for you and your are sitting over here!"

Joke of da day 30/12

There were these three guys at a cafe, drinking their coffee - a black guy, an American guy and an Ah Beng.

They see a really attractive waitress and comment on her good looks. Next thing you know they start making bets on who can get her to go out with them first.

The waitress overhears them, and she goes up to them and says, "Hey, I heard you talking about me. Well, I like an intelligent guy, so let's see who can make the best sentence using the words 'liver' and 'cheese'."

So the black guy goes, "That's easy. I love liver and I hate cheese."

The waitress shakes her head in disgust.

The American guy goes, "Well, I hate liver and I love cheese."

The waitress says, "That is so stupid. That's essentially the same thing!"

Then the Ah Beng steps up and puts his arm around the waitress' waist. "Liver alone, cheese mine!"

Joke of da day 23/12

During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says to her students :

"If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her? "

Mike replies : Wait a minute, I'm going for a piss.

The teacher says : That would be very rude and improper on your part.

Johnny replied : I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute.

The teacher says : That's much better but to mention the word ''toilet'' during a meal, is unpleasant.

And Charlie says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope, you'll get to meet after dinner."

Joke of da day 12/12

A middle aged woman had a heart attack was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God..... she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make themost of it. After her last operation, she was discharged from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance .

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance ?"

God replied, "Oh! was that you....I didn't recognise you."