Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Bubba how about TomCruise? “
“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. ” So Bubba and hisboss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, “Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in andjoin me for lunch! “
Although impressed, Bubba’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’shouse, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba’s knowing Cruise was just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else, ” Bubba says.
“President Bush, ” his boss quickly retorts.
“Yep, ” Bubba says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington. ” And off they go.At the White House, Bush spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his bossover, saying, “Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, butyou and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catchup. “
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, whoagain implores him to name anyone else.
“The Pope, ” his boss replies. “Sure! ” says Bubba. “I’ve known the Pope a longtime. ” So off they fly to Rome.
Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubbasays, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all thesepeople. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’llcome out on the balcony with the Pope. ” And he disappears into the crowd headedtoward St. Peter’s.
Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. Butby the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and issurrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss’s side, Bubba asks him,“What happened? “
His boss looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out onthe balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, “Who’s that on thebalcony with Bubba? “
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Joke of da day 19/02
A well-respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it, and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
"We need a fourth for mahjong," said the friend.
"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"
"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, three doctors are there already!"
"We need a fourth for mahjong," said the friend.
"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"
"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, three doctors are there already!"
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Joke of the day 13/02
A man is driving down a road.
A woman is driving down the same road from the opposite direction.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells"PIG!!".
The man immediately leans out his window and yells, "BITCH!!".
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds a curve he crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road and dies . . .
If men would only listen.
A woman is driving down the same road from the opposite direction.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells"PIG!!".
The man immediately leans out his window and yells, "BITCH!!".
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds a curve he crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road and dies . . .
If men would only listen.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Joke of the day 10/02
A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a smallhouse. He knocks on the door and is greeted by an old Chinese man with along grey . "I'm lost," said the man, "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but one condition. If you so much aslay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well,and entered the house.
Over dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as well, as she couldn't keep her eyes off of him during the meal. Remembering theold man's warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone.
During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for anight of passion. Near dawn, he quietly crept back to his room so the oldman wouldn't hear, exhausted but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest.
Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it thatread:
"Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."
"Well, that's easy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw it out. As he did so, he noticed another note on itthat read:
"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting closeto taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration hejumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted toward theground he saw a large sign on the ground that read:
"Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bed
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but one condition. If you so much aslay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well,and entered the house.
Over dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as well, as she couldn't keep her eyes off of him during the meal. Remembering theold man's warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone.
During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for anight of passion. Near dawn, he quietly crept back to his room so the oldman wouldn't hear, exhausted but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest.
Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it thatread:
"Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."
"Well, that's easy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw it out. As he did so, he noticed another note on itthat read:
"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting closeto taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration hejumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted toward theground he saw a large sign on the ground that read:
"Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bed
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